This month I went to the online FGC and I took a workshop entittled Spiritual Companions...but as one participant stated at the end of the workshop it really should have been called: Spiritual deepening through Spiritual Companionship. I had thought the workshop was an extension of Marcelle Martin's work which turned out not to be the case so it also had some different aspects although both very much point to the traditions of Early Friends. I share here some pearls I gathered from this workshop.
Early on the workshop leader, Nadine Hoover, defined Convincement. Her definition was very different than what I have thought. I have just seen it as there are birthright friends and those who are "convinced" which I had understood meant, convinced of the Truth found in Quakerism. But Nadine points out no, this was meant to be that through Quaker silence and inward searching that folks had an experience of the Divine so profound and personal that they are forever Convinced of God. There is no period of silence or detachment or crisis that can shake them in their belief. I find that a helpful definition and one that helps me realize that I am both a birth right friend and a convinced Friend.
She also defined being convicted....also different than how I have thought about it. She very much directed people to notice their feelings and clear those that stand in their way. It is curious because as a therapist I am certainly aware of how our feelings can get in the way in our professional life, our family life and our social lives. But for some reason I had never thought about how they could get in the way in our Faith life. I was certainly aware of how conflict can erupt in a Meeting and stand in the way of the Meetings progress as a community, and I have been too distressed to worship in a Meeting before, but I had not really considered how carrying that distress interfered with the spiritual life. That sadly made me realize how my broken heartedness at things I have encountered in the past has long been an obstacle in my spiritual life. I am glad to have realized this as I think it is helping me to move some obstacles out of my way.
She introduced to us the query: What do I need to take up or lay down in order to be more available to Spirit? She recommended that people ask themselves this question every day and also discuss once a month with a spiritual companion this question. I was particularly pleased that it included what to lay down. I think that Quaker's can focus overly on having leadings and yet as she pointed out if we have "clutter" in our way (things that busy us to no end and need to be layed down) we cannot be faithful. She commented that we often think God will hand us down some great leading (like we expect a 5 page manual) and are disappointed when this does not happen. But as she said: How would we get this if we have not been faithful to the little things that have been asked of us? If we have not learned to listen, to hear and to obey the small requests? I hear Susan Stark' beautiful voice singing: "Be faithful to the Light that is given to thee and more shall be given." This is an old and ancient Quaker belief ....why have we forgotten it?
I am trying to pay attention. I had a small niggling to hold an event for people to process what happened with Roe vs Wade. It did not fit my general organizing strategy, or what I organize on so it did not make sense, but I decided to do it as an exercise in faithfulness. I don't know yet what will emerge out of this. Various women their considered various next steps. I have to assume like a message you deliver in Meeting that makes no sense to you but is for someone else, that whoever acts from that event will be moved as God so intends, and I was only the vessel to help that happen.
Then as she taught us how to be present with others during their turn in the spiritual companioning she taught that we are to listen for one thing and one thing only (not whether we agree or what we think - that is none of our business, and certainly not to give advice). Rather we are to be able to tell the other person at the end: "How did I hear 'the Life and Power' in what was said?" I feel like this should be published in all the Faith and Practice books around Quakerdom. I am not kidding. I have so often watched people misunderstand the purpose of clearness committees and try to make comments of their own thoughts about what was said, or give advice. Even when I have tried to explain in advance that we are not to do that and to hold in prayer what is said and confirm or not the truth of the leading as we heard it - I get blank stares and I have sat through way to much advise giving. This one sentence so much succinctly and clearly explains what we are to do. So I highly recommend Nadine Hoover's workshop!
