Walk Cheerfully over the earth answering to that of God in others. George Fox
In the summer between My Freshman and Sophomore year of college a letter came for me in the mail. It was from Jim, a guy who had lived on my hall the previous year. This would not seem eventful, but it was, because Jim had spent half of the last year not speaking to me (and half the other people on the hall.) He'd gotten mad at us all for some reason which was never clear to any of us and then refused to speak. Not only that, he also pretended I did not exist, so he would attempt to walk through me in the hall and speak when I was speaking.
I was perplexed and annoyed by this, but after some consideration I decided that he'd done me no wrong and I would treat him accordingly, but most specifically I would stay true to the idea that he had that of God in him and try to speak to that of God in him. As the months dragged on I was somewhat discouraged by the lack of change this wrought, but I continued to do it because it seemed like the right thing to do.
So indeed it was a surprise to receive a letter from Jim. In the letter he told me that he'd spent the summer working for the forest service, so he'd had a lot of time to think. He said he'd come to feel bad about how he'd treated me and wanted to start over next year and be friends. He said that he wanted to apologize to the others, but I was the only one he thought would forgive him. Sometimes directing ourselves to that of God in someone is the best way to connect with their highest self.
Some years later I worked as a volunteer in the prisons for nearly a decade with the AVP program. I made the decision in going into the prisons that I would look for that of God in each of these men. Without exception I found this quite possible to do, and in fact not even very difficult in most cases. I think it also made it a very pleasant experience.
During that same period of time I believe I avoided being raped by also following this same practice. A man arrived at the church where our office was and was asking for the pastor. I let him in to the big deserted building. He started asking me about the program I worked for, so I took him into my office and told him about it. He started saying flirtatious things and otherwise making me uncomfortable. My initial attempts to get him to leave also failed. Somehow as my anxiety rose I remembered to notice that of God in him and speak to that. I eventually got him to leave the building to get some food and in so doing got in a public setting again where I was able to then tell him I had to go and separate from him. Later a friend who worked in a shelter told me upon hearing the story that he knew him and that he had several sexual assaults on his record.
I am reminded while walking with others that most people do not approach the world this way. For most there is a quick judgement of others as to whether they are friend or foe, good or bad, and little patience for the challenges that others may present us. This means the opportunities for conflict and frustration are many. I don't think walking around looking for that of God in others is easy, but I do think it brings me into a better more loving connection with others for which I'm grateful. It has brought me away of life and a way of being in the world which I'm happy with.
