I have an empty nest. My only child left for college. My father taught me the way to retire is to own your home outright by the time you retire so rhat your income can pay for everything else. I came late to that project (45) and took out a 30 year mortgage. Was pretty clear I did not want to work till 75. So with downsizing and buying a smaller place this means carving that mortgage down to something closer to when I want to retire.
Query 1) What do I owe money on? Is it worth the time I will spend working for it?
I had had a too big living room. I had a den and my daughter's room. Seemed like combining them would account for 300 extra square feet. In my mind all the furniture fit in this new configuration of space. Except I forgot to notice that the good closets in this space where stilll in smaller space - in otherwords less storage space. So here comes moving day and in the days following as I go to unpack I realize I have never moved to smaller space. Everything is not going to fit. I have to actually let go of things! I see my things with new eyes:
Query 2) When is the last time I used this item? Will I really use it again?
The easy items are the ones you can says years and no too. I get to notice things (that I have studied in books) like how in a low income mindset you keep stuff because you don't know if you will need it again, but you know you may well not have money for it if you do need to get it again. I have more money now than when raising a child.
Query 3) Is it ok to let go of something I'm not using by telling myself I can buy it again if I need to? Is it simplicity to have less things? Or is it simplicity to buy less things over time?
But the worse dilemma is my own sentimentality. Here is something from my (long) dead mother. Here is something from my daughter's baby years. Here is something from my happy College days.
Can I bear to let things go? The things are not the emotions, but they do evoke the emotions.
Query 4) Is there an appropriate role for sentiment and memory in simplicity?
Worse yet were the gifts. So many things people gave me. Some that I love and use and those are straightforward. But what about the unwanted gifts? What about the things dutifully held because they represent the love of the person who gave it? My daughter has thrown away things in leaving for college that she currently does not find useful, but that I worked hard to provide for her.
Query 5) How to honor simplicity and the loving intentions of those who gift us?
As my friends helped me carry the hanging cloths from my closet to the car, I started to feel guilty. Really there are so many. The first world guilt kicked in...there are people in other countries that have two changes of clothing, or have only tattered clothing. Here I am with a 6 or 7 foot pool of clothing. That's it, I thought, I'm going to pair this down. I thought it would be easy that I would simply get rid of things I had not worn in a long time. But I discovered as I looked, that I will wear many things once a year, just because I feel that way that day. I decided well I will just make a reasonable rule: I will only have X number of button shirts, and Y number of pants. But then the season thing starts: well I have to have warm and cold weather things, and then the inbetween. So how many is a reasonable number to have? A weeks worth of shirts? But what about dresses then? While this all sounds like I'm a clothes hound the truth is I wear things lightly rarely ever wearing things out. I still have t-shirts in good condition from 35 years ago! So I actually probably buy far less clothing than many Americans because I keep it and just add one or two items a year. I achieve variety not by getting rid of getting new stuff, but by rotating through my decades of clothing. (Ridiculed by my sister for never being "in fashion".)
Query 6) What is enough? How many is enough?
I have moved a lot in my life. It has kept me honest. Every move I got rid of stuff I had not used, that I did not want to keep carrying around. Compared to most Americans my age I am already traveling light. And yet compared to most people in the world I am indeed wealth and the owner of much. I have tried to care for my things, to use them lightly, to not cast things aside because they are no longer new or shiney, to keep them working as long as possible. This to me is what it means to be a good steward of resources. But there is a place to say "no this does not go to Good Will; it goes in the trash" - to recognize the end of the useful life of any object. My depression era parents often kept things to fix them and make them useable again. But really they just sat around.
Query 7) Do I know when to let go of something?
The final query is one I got years ago from a book and I have kept it in my mind and it has served me well. It has spared me from being owned by my possessions, helped me notice the real cost in time and energy of owning some kinds of things.
Query 8) Do I own my possessions or do they own me?
As you can see simplicity is not simple!
